Im at strip club and am horny
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
