the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
40s are totally the cure
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
