Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Bring me that man meat
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
