I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
