I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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