If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
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...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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