hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
