I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
