i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
