The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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