She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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