I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
