did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
