No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I want her autograph on my taint
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize