hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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