I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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