so explain again why im purple
no
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
