Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
