I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
