the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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