Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
jump out the window naked night went bad
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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