How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
