well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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