Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
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Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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