Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
even my farts smell like vagina
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He shit in the fireplace
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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