It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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