i just google imaged poop.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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