If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
