So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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