that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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