They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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