The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
