Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
