How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
