you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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