She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
