Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
