I am puke
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize