She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Randomize
