I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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