thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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