Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
