Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
