I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My hand turned me down
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
