Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
