Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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