Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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