I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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