like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
