It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
