Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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