he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
