Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
