Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
