You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
