I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
