It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
